Drash, April 25, 2009 – Be'Yachad Shabbat – Special Needs Shabbat Shabbat Shalom. So imagine this: You used to live in Marin but have been living elsewhere for a few years.  You are back visiting and plan to go to services at Kol Shofar with the friends you are staying with. As your friend is driving to shul, you are looking forward to being back in Kol Shofar’s building:  walking up the flight of stairs from the parking lot and emerging amongst the beautiful prayer garden;  seeing all the member name tags in the hallway, sinking into  a cushioned seat, and having a place to hang your tallit when you enter the restroom….. In addition, you’re looking forward to being greeted by a warm, welcoming, familiar crowd of friends all the while enjoying a peaceful Shabbat service. But suddenly, your friend has stopped the car in the parking lot …. Of some strange church!  There are some nice plantings but there’s no stairs or special prayer garden;  pleasant place but no name tags in the hallway, hard wood pew seats and alas, no place to hang your tallit before you enter the restroom…. The warm, welcoming, familiar crowd is the same and after some mental and emotional adjustment, you sit back and celebrate with love a somewhat unique and peaceful Shabbat service. This is sort of what it’s like having a special needs child…. Perhaps not at all what you dreamed of or expected;  but in the end, you sit back after making some mental and emotional adjustments and you celebrate with love the life that has been gifted to you – in all it’s uniqueness and,  eventually, familiarity.  Today at Kol Shofar,  we are celebrating life – B’Yachad (together).  Our service today is part of an inclusive weekend of special observances and activities the Jewish community in Marin is holding to welcome individuals and families with special needs with a hope to raise awareness about and embrace the uniqueness of these members of our community.  In addition to welcoming services at Marin’s various congregations, the Osher Marin JCC is offering a special fun-day tomorrow afternoon including some cool art and movement activities as well as the screening of a touching movie called, “Praying with Lior” about a boy with Down Syndrome preparing for his Bar Mitzvah.  There will be some resource materials available at the Kiddish/  feel free to talk to me or Flora Kupferman, Special Needs Coordinator at Bureau of Jewish Education who is joining us today.  Thank you for being here!  – Jordana Perman STRIVING TO BE BETTER JEWS In this week’s Parsha, Hashem speaks to Moses and lays out a very specific purification process for the metzorah. In the second phase of this process the person being purified shall shave his body completely.  His head is shaved because of his haughtiness since he considered himself better and more worthy of respect.  The beard is shaved because it frames the mouth, which speaks gossip and slander.  And the eyebrows are shaved because they represent jealousy. These instructions are very specific and didactic. Last week there were also such specific instructions about keeping kosher.  But the Torah also comments that, while these are important rules to follow, what’s equally important is that we strive to follow them and become better people in the process. Now, imagine for a moment the conversation my son Jacob and I had last Saturday night during dinner.  We have a set of knives in our wooden knife block.  They all look like steak knives, but from Jacob’s perspective only one of the knives are actually to be used for steak.  The other knives are for cutting hot dogs, donuts and cucumbers.  And, changing that sense of order could result in surprising reactions. So, we live with the imperfections.  And we delight in his desire for a greater sense of order.  We kvell every Shabbas eve when Jacob gives each of us a kiss for Shabbas blessings.  And we kvell when he says hamotzi on the challah and pretends to take a big bite out of the center.   And we smile when we see Jacob come close to the Torah on Saturday mornings as the ark is opened or closed and he walks with the Rabbi’s to share the joy around the congregation.   We understand that even though he enjoys coming to shul, sometimes having a quiet break is important, especially when beautiful sounds like blowing the shofar can be frightening to ultra sensitive hearing.  We understand the joy he takes in matching the congregant’s name tags with the people who would wear them since that serves a sense of purpose and order. We are patient in our effort to understand surprising actions like last Saturday, when Jacob held up a large rock from the garden outside this sanctuary in honor of his grandfather’s yartzheit…like a gravestone honors one resting in peace. With all of these behaviors, expected and unexpected, we kvell because we know Jacob strives to be a better Jew.   Striving to be better in a manner that is often different and surprising. Last summer, we participated in a special soccer camp in Mill Valley.  There was a wide range of kids there including some who had Down’s syndrome and some who had Cerebral Palsy and lived in wheelchairs.  But, that didn’t stop them from playing soccer.  Those kids were picked up by the coaches who swung their feet and enabled them to kick the balls with glee and even score goals…just like every other kid wants to do.  They we’re striving to do better but in a manner that was quite different and surprising. So, on this weekend I encourage us to instill a measure of empathy for behaviors we sometimes see that are quite different and surprising.  To think of our own habits and rituals and consider the perspective of other people who view these as unusual.   To reflect on dozens of passages from the Torah that dictate specific and inflexible rules about building and eating and working and giving and praying.  We understand how unusual these rules might look to those who are unfamiliar.  I encourage us to keep our minds and hearts as open as our doors for those among us and those who strive to be among us as best they possibly can.  In two years Jacob will be called for his Bar Mitzvah.  He won’t be the first or last to have such a special day.  I can’t predict what this day will be like, or what surprises we will see.  But I can promise he will be striving to be a great Jew.  Just like the rest of us. –Michael Perman